Apple to close — Innovation is over

CUPERTINO, California—January 27, 2014—Apple today announced another first, by becoming the first company to voluntarily close itself down due to lack of innovation.

The company has been at the forefront of technical innovation for nearly 40 years, with such defining moments as igniting the personal computer movement, revolutionising the music industry and defining the mobile devices category.

Now, like Alexander the Great, Apple finds itself with no more worlds left to conquer. Leaving the Board of Directors to decide it was time to close down the company.

“Apple has been all about changing the world and delivering amazing experiences for customers.” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Looking ahead we could have carried on with faster Macs and new iPhones and iPads, but that just isn’t in our D.N.A.

“Instead we’re doing something that only Apple would dare. We’re closing everything down to go and do other things.”

Phil Schiller, Senior Vice President Worldwide Marketing, said, “We looked at each other during that board meeting. Sharing the same thought, but afraid to say it out loud. Until Tim stood and said, ‘Gentlemen, we’re done here – Let’s go out into the sun and ride the waves.’

“We all knew the moment had arrived.”

The final day for Apple products will be February 1, 2014. After that date all unsold stock will be returned to Cupertino for burning in a ceremonial bonfire whilst 100s of company employees sit on the ground telling stories of how they changed the world.

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